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Following a successful first interview, I have an informal "meet and greet" with the employees of a company prior to my second interview tomorrow. It is located at a restaurant & bar and the invitation states that "appetizers and drinks will be served." What is the etiquette for a meeting like this? First of all, if people are drinking (alcohol) should I join in? I don't want to come off as overly casual or tactless, but I also don't want to be the inhibited stick-in-the-mud who refuses to drink, if it turns out to be a more casual environment than I anticipate. Secondly, how should I handle myself when the check comes? Is it understood that the employer will cover an event like this as a business dinner/outing, or should I throw my card in? I could see something like leaving the tip would be appropriate, except I don't carry cash. For clarity, this is an internship position at a software company and I am a graduate student. Any advice is appreciated!

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I have to say, I love that man. I do. I first met him about 6 years ago when I started taking kick boxing classes and he was the teacher. As soon as I laid eyes on him I fell in love. We started talking and soon started dating. We started getting intimate very quickly. Next thing I know, he's living with me. I started to notice how he really was. Sometimes he would ask me if I wanted to "practice" some kickboxing moves on him. I tried, but failed. I thought he was playing with me. Then he started acting stranger and stranger. We would get into arguments over little things and it would get very heated. All of a sudden he slapped me. He said it was my fault and I brought it upon myself. The next day he called home (I'm a housewife) and said "what are you doing? who is with you? (if he heard noise in the background) what are you making for dinner? and 'I miss you'. Then he would get on with his apology, except he wouldn't really apologize, he'd just say "You know I love you, right?" And my reply is always "Yes". He told me that I was at fault, and that I made him hit me and he was just "disciplining me". And this went on for 3 more years. It got worse over time. He'd be angry with someone at his job and when I tried to help him resolve the problem he'd hit me. If he told me to call someone for financial reasons he'd beat me then. He told me I was fat and that he didn't want to be seen with me in public so I nearly starved myself to death. I called him at his job once and he just so happened to be in a meeting. He called me back and yelled at me, called me ugly names, told me he hated me and couldn't stand to even see me and said that when he got home he had something for me. That was the same day he brought home a whip. Don't ask me where he got it from, but he used it. He is very very controlling. To make sure I didn't go anywhere he'd take my car keys with him and take my wallet and money so I couldn't buy anything. He monitored my phone and installed a software on our computer that took snapshots of the screen and monitored it so he could see what I was doing at his job. (I have no idea how he found a way to do this but he did). Things got really bad when one day he came home and said that he was interested in converting to Islam. He never once said he did or was going to. I made stir fry for dinner and it had pork in it, and he saw it and beat me. He claimed he had BEEN a muslim. Right. My little sister was over my house and we were about to leave to go to my other sisters house because I was simply in pain. He came home, saw my bags, and you know what happened next. He did it right there in front of my 15 year old sister. I was so weak I could barely get out of bed. Of course he called the next day saying "You know I love you, right?" And the list of events goes on and on... We both decided to go to counseling. I went to a women's group, he to a men's group. It somewhat helped, but he has a long way to go. He might not hit me, but he sure does abuse me verbally. He tells me that he hates me but then later tells me he loves me. He'll talk bad about me in front of his friends and other women and then of course comes back and tells me he loves me. Counseling obviously did nothing. His antics have ranged from physical abuse to publicly humiliating me. I'm sick of trying. It's hurt me so deeply that I think I'm crazy. I'm afraid of him, and honestly I'm afraid of myself. It's so strange; because I feel so much love for him. He will hurt me so bad but whenever he puts his arms around me and hugs me or holds me I just melt. I honestly need an answer. If I don't get out soon, who knows what else will happen. The only problem is, that I can't get out.

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